the last visible dog (intertext) wrote,
the last visible dog

Waving, Not Drowning

I just realized that I haven't posted for nearly two weeks, which for me, now, is a long time. Last November, I posted every day, and usually I'm in here at least every two or three days.

I feel like I could write several long posts, with footnotes, but I'm too tired. Part of the reason I haven't posted has been start-up and extreme busyness and just being too tired at the end of the day, and too much needing to race off and do something at the beginning.

Partly it has been that January is a difficult month for me. I'm flooded with memories, not good ones. A little while ago I had the most extraordinarily vivid and extremely upsetting dream about my mum, from which I woke crying and which rocked me quite badly and sent me under a protective shell for a while. One or two people noticed and helped, and I'm grateful for that. I've just passed the first anniversary of Cholmondeley's death last year, and just coming up to the third anniversary of my mum's death.

I am offsetting that by pouring myself into my work and into my photography. I haven't yet been voted off the Island, and the challenges are more difficult and more demanding, but I'm seeing some results that are really pleasing me. Plus I've just started a course, which will challenge me more and push me further, I hope.

And Tabitha is a continuing delight. I think she deserves a post all to herself, so I'll leave that for next time.

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