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I've just been hit by the full extent of the upheaval I'm facing by having renovations done on my house.

Don't get me wrong; I can't wait. The interior of my house is unbelievably shabby, suffering from years of neglect when my mother was living in it and it was impossible to move for all the "stuff." It's taken this long to kind of psych myself up to the final amount of clearance that is needed, and to stop feeling guilty about doing this for myself (and, to be honest, I haven't quite got that bit yet).

But even though I've cleared out about 50% of what was here, there's still an enormous amount of "stuff" left from my mum - about 1000 books, teddy bears, good china - most of which is in my basement. Then there's my own "stuff": another 1000 or more books, my dishes, dvds, some knickknacks, camera equipment, all the non-perishable food in my kitchen... you know. Thing is, they're going to be tearing out my kitchen, dry-walling in my living room, the kitchen and the bedroom, painting throughout, new floors and other things. So I'm going to have to pack it all up...

And I've really only just realized that of course it will be easier if they do the whole thing at once, or that the various bits - ripping things out, dry-walling, painting and so on - are all done at the same time in the whole house. I, you see, had had some notion that they could do one room at a time and I'd just move from one room to another. Which I know they _could_ do, but realize that ultimately it will be faster and therefore cheaper if I were not here and they could do it all at once.

I had already decided that I was probably going to go and stay in one of my friend kp's holiday flats for at least part of the time, and I'm now thinking that the more I can stay away probably the better. I can easily take Tabitha with me. I'm not so sure about the dogs, because although kp has said I could take them, they are, you know, dogs, and they bark and they need to go out in the middle of the night, and the apartments are up a steep flight of stairs that Zoe might not won't like (nor will Robinson, for that matter) and there isn't a fenced yard, and there are paying guests who may not want barking or whatever... And staying at kp's and more than likely boarding the dogs somewhere is all going to incur more expense, but I'm beginning to get dizzy with all the money that is going to be spent, and heck, what's a few hundred dollars more when tens of thousands are being discussed... And I feel kind of guilty about _that_, too, though I don't really know why, because it's my money, or at least money that's coming from equity that I've built in my property, and I've worked hard and all that, but I still have a lot of trouble doing good things for myself and believing I'm worth it... And I think I need a renovation in my brain, too.



Jun. 20th, 2010 08:46 pm (UTC)
I think you're right :)


the last visible dog

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