the last visible dog (intertext) wrote,
the last visible dog

Real True Facts About Renovations (Renos Pt deux)

Your chances that a contractor or other workman will turn up unexpectedly increase exponentially when any of the following conditions apply:

  • You have just poured yourself a cool one
  • you have just made lunch
  • you have just removed bra and panties and put on something loose (because of the heat)
  • You have just settled in to watch a nice dvd
  • any combination of the preceding.

  • When you put something carefully aside so that you can find it quickly when you have to go to work, it will be the first thing to have a drop sheet put over it.

    Likelihood that something will be moved somewhere that you can't find it increases exponentially with the value and use of that something.

    Drywallers behave as if they were the gondoliers of the construction industry (they preen, run in packs, exhibit macho tendencies). Unlike gondoliers, they are at the bottom of the food chain, and are expected to break things and make a mess. Which they do.

    Painters, on the other hand, although also quite low on the food chain, are quite civilized.

    Drywallers listen to Rap music. Painters listen to the CBC.

    Nothing is ever completely finished.
    Tags: deconstruction, renovations

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